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Politicks beckons.So... That slimy bunch of over paid, obnoxious, self-centred, conniving, loathsome, public-school-boy- spanking, Charlie-sniffing, council-tax-avoiding, two jag driving, money obsessed, cheap aftershave wearing, backhander excepting, backdoor arriving cross-dressing, snivelling rubbish of an example of the human race are at it again.Yes Folks, our good old politicians have slapped a ban on puffing the weed from next summer, even down the bloody pub !!!!!!!..... Its funny how it doesnt apply to the bars around Westminster, London, UK.
I can see us crew of hardened smokers, albeit coughing and wheezing our way to the car park or bogs to sneak off for a crafty Marlborough next winter, or I can see us victims of the utter bollocks law staying at home with a few chilled cans of lager/bitter and saying $%!! the breweries. Wed have more rights if we were to stand in the street inciting racial hatred and murder. And with that comes a free house, benefit payments and a nice new bathroom suit, especially designed in desert yellow. Just look at most soap operas and sitcoms; they are more often than not based around the focal point in most western communities, the boozer. (Sorry but no-one goes to church anymore, well maybe the disillusioned few who seem to think marriage is cool, when in reality its just a piece of paper entitling your better half, a few years down the line to walk away with everything youve worked for ) I know one girl whos on her 4th marriage, with 5 kids, 3 houses, 6 cars, a holiday home in Marbaya, a team of nannies and her eye on hubby no: 5. Which I guess is conclusive proof that us blokes are pretty dim, nave and thick as the skin on a politicians backside. (.Hang on, just got to nip outside in sub-zero temperatures to have a smoke) Yes, Of course looking at it from a health point of view it makes total sense, and I dont begrudge non- smokers their rights: Inhaling vast amounts of toxic chemicals, abattoir floor scrapings and ground up railway sleepers into our lungs isnt the most intelligent thing to do, but then to breath them out all over everybody else, with of course a few million specks of bird flu, essence of rotting lung and yellow teeth fever is understandably unpleasant. One of the beautiful ironies is i can spend some of the day shifting a few tonnes of horse shite onto me garden in the fresh air, drinking about 6 litres of clean water, chomping on granary bread stuffed with lettuce sandwiches, and dont even think about having a ciggy. Then after 5 hours in the office and a hot soapy shower its off the pub, for..You guessed it... a few pints and a SMOKE I and many sane working people all over the land call this relaxation. Thats where the infringement of civil rights kicks in: if I want to kill myself via having a smoke then thats my business, not some snooty tosser in parliament. And to meet up with some good friends, drool over the bar girl, (oh foxy Roxy, will you marry me, aaarrrrgh !! hang on, I would quite like to keep my house, possessions and sanity ) Have a bloody good laugh, crack a few crude jokes and tomorrow is another day. But there it is.. Having a smoke. Take that away and the whole equation goes down the toilet. At present the entire pub seating arrangement has changed, and you have this desperate group of people, who have to hide behind pillars or walls, puffing away like they have the plague. Friction occurs now, not in the form of a heated political/religious friendly debate but when the smokers have to scuttle off to the dark corners of the pub mid sentence. Much to the amusement and ridicule of the clean lung brigade. I grew up in south London and spent many weekends in the smoky local, sipping lemonade as I was only 9. My mum and dad both smoked regularly as did most of the relativesand me and me brothers are alright. So personally speaking I think disease from passive smoking is total crap. And I mentioned this in a previous rant; I also grew up in a multi-cultural society, where colour, race and religion didnt matter, but we were just kids then.
Talking of crap, or the lack of it, I do often succumb to that exquisite little inconvenience known as constipation every now and then. So not only feeling as big as a house as the kind lady on TV puts it there is fun to be had with it. Im talking about some of the brilliant noises one can produce as the dawn chorus awakens. Putting aside the fact that the bed cover hovers about a foot above you its quite disturbing to hear a kind of Brrrrruuurrruffffffftt, followed rapidly by meeeeerrrooooaaassssllaaaauuuch and pop pop pop pop spplaaasssccchhhshhhpipipip. Call me weird but what great fun.!! And so left to my own devises I produce noises of different sizes Some are small, just nothing at all But others are large and win prizes. Needless to say the bird was not impressed, whats up with women today, no sense of humour or was it the fact that she started to turn green and corpse like. And now for another musical interlude: and some un-PC words of wisdom. Courtesy of a genius geezer known as Matt Johnson, singer and writer for the band The The. www.thethe.com A pleasing song called the Beat (en) Generation. Click jukebox, select album Mind Bomb and the song as above. And click play. When you cast your eyes upon the skylines of this .. Once proud nation. Can you sense the fear and the hatred Growing in the hearts of its population And our youth, oh our youth, are being seduced By the greedy hands of politics and half truths. But on a lighter note, and talking of spellbinding songwriters, Sussex, UK based Nick Eede has a new album out called Grinning Souls and is currently on tour in Europe . The new single hard on you is fantasticcheck it out..!!!!. www.cuttingcrew.biz ( flash ) And so to end, next month has some sort of religious connotations attached to it.. All I know is come the weekend; me and the boys are out down the boozer and will probably end up crucified via lager abuse. Then come Monday morning it will be like trying to raise the dead. Cool B.xxx . |
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